My Dear Children, ...

After a long long time, I came across something that made my eyes fill up with tears and smile at the same time.

I love my children so much and know that I am truly blessed to share in the love, joys, excitement, tears and fears of so so many of them in the past and in the present.

All videos of children are 'cute' and 'funny' and 'sweet', but this one in particular pulled at my hearts' strings.

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/the-perfect-little-video-you-wont-be-able-to-stop-watching-a-child-discovers-rain-megasahd/

This little girl smiles, screams, wonders and discovers rain. She watches a little dog run past, she acknowledges each person around her! She's happy to enjoy her newly-found-friend alone and gets upset when removed from there; she dashes back out but once there again, she includes everyone in her happiness.

hahaha! What a beautiful thing I learned tonight!

My Dear Children,

Do you have any idea how beautiful all of you are? I am so lucky (and I must have worked my bum off in some lifetime to be able to share with a few moments in your precious lives.

May you open your eyes to beautiful visions, may your ears listen to exciting sounds of nature, may water and sand pass through your tiny fingers but never stop you from walking on, may the gentle breeze ruffle your hair and land a few strands onto your ice cram, but instead of feeling sad may you laugh and lick the ice cream even off them!

May you never forget to clap when your heart is happy no matter how old you are and no matter whom you're near. 

May your feet be light enough to walk on flower beds and ready to rock on mountains, may your heart be touched by many more beautiful souls like yourselves and may you touch every soul.

My beautiful children, life is never easy, but it's not all that bad!

Thank you so so much for coming into my life and showing me that love is all around.

It is because of you, that I am a child again.

Love, love and more love

Miss Anumeha 

When you suddenly feel....

Why am I not tired today? I've had a long day. I worked hard, I met a good friend, my mind has been buzzing with work today; then why am I not tired today? I suddenly feel I can't sleep.


Sometimes, it's 'nothing' that keeps you going. More often it's 'nothing' that holds you back. Just like at this moment. When I write a blog, there is nothing for which I am writing, yet it's nothing that stops me from writing. I suddenly pick up my laptop and start typing.


When I see someone; why do I feel love? why do I feel put off? why do I feel sorry or any other strong reaction? Isn't it sudden?


You don't know why you feel this way. You don't know when you started feeling this way. How are you going to deal with it? What exactly is this feeling? Where do you plant the roots of this feeling.


Words are not enough. They never were and they never will be. How can a few limited lakhs of words even begin to describe the gazillions of thoughts and emotions we experience in a our lifetime. Not fair. But I want to write. So I will have to find a way to try and say what I want to say.


So here goes.


Sometimes, when you suddenly feel...

We’ve got it all wrong… or have we?

I know that you cannot begin a business without the risk of going into a financial loss, you cannot have a baby without the risk of it not coming out healthy or sometimes you not being alive to see it,

… or love without the risk of getting hurt … No, everything is not as morbid as it probably is sounding here, but these are the facts of life on earth, which each of us has to deal with at some point, and sometimes with more than a pinch of salt.

But this thing about love, is something that has been bothering me and seriously making me angry and restless for a very long time.

Why is it that the heart desires what is can’t have? When someone loves you, you end up asking yourself, why?.. Is it my money? My persona? My success?

Or even worse; you question that silly one that loves you? Their reasons.. Is it their insecurity? Their own incompleteness? Their need for attachment?

Did you ever ask your parents why they love you? Did you ask them why do they call you so much? Why they want you to be in front of their eyes as much as you can? Do they ever ask you why you want from them all the time? If are you with them because you feel incomplete or haven’t yet succeeded? Or why do you put your head in your mothers’ lap cry… are you that insecure?

Love for a person not of the same blood can be like that too. Is it not? Otherwise why would you create a child with such a person? Imagine your child asking you, “so you gave me birth because you felt incomplete without me?” the answer is no, and yes. No, because the child wasn’t even there for you to feel incomplete without it and yes, because you feel complete in a marriage once your beautiful child arrives, and then just like that, in one moment, you feel like it was always there, even before you possibly. Isn’t that incredible? Brings a smile to your face, but not funny, I say!

Going back to what I wanted to talk to you about (I tend to get carried away), love (just one of the emotions I get carried away with), is something of such beauty and simplicity and yet so complicated that we spend all our lives looking for answers we, more often, do not find and end up feeling dejected and miserable. Oh my God, we reach out for books to teach us how to, how much to and when to love or not!

We have all been in love, been stupid, gotten carried away, given it our all, been used, cheated, betrayed, have lost, suffered loneliness, fallen in love again, but we never cease to put up this brave front. We try so hard to appear ‘in control’ of our feelings, playing hard to get, be unavailable, run away from the one who loves us truly because we feel overwhelmed, fill our life and time with other things (you do realize they are still ‘other’ things, test that silly wide eyed one’s love for us over and over again, trying to convince them that it’s not really love just some attraction, some attachment…
And all why? Because they were honest enough to tell you how they feel? Brave enough to care how you’d react and still not care enough that it will change how they feel? Running the risk of being accused of wearing their heart on their sleeve because they’ve loved before? … As if you haven’t.

When all we really want is for someone to love us warts and all, and someone we can hold, feel safe enough to be held by, someone we can cry and laugh with, fight and make up with, think and decide with, fail and succeed with, sleep and wake up with, isn’t it?

Love is not to be measured, not to be compared, it doesn’t have reason, it doesn’t come with an expiry date. Unfortunately the human body of the person, who loves you, does.

I see everyone looking for this sort of or that sort of a person. I do too. My sort has to be the sharing, loving, caring, trusting, honest and silly sort. What is your sort?

Why judge a person’s love for you by their achievements and accomplishments? You mean to tell me that a person successful in their job is sure to make a successful companion? Or just because I don’t have time for love, as a result, time for you, as much I have time for other things it means I’m the one who’s truly desirable?

So you love the one who doesn’t love you. You want the one, who doesn’t want you. You need the one who doesn’t need you.

Whatever happened to just loving… and being loved? Showering your special one with attention without having to be answerable for it? Telling someone you love them without having a long list of logical and practical reasons for it?

Why does that person need you to become this or that before you can be part of their life, and then when you do try to do that they ask you why you want to do this for them (with such wonder… as if they don’t know) and then ask you to do it for yourself (so that their guilt is less), Haha! And even so, it is not even close to enough.

I’m not here to have a mudslinging game. We are all; the ones in love, the one’s running away from it, the ones running after it, and even the ones pretending that it doesn’t exist or even if it does, it can’t be the most important thing in life; wasting our intelligence, our emotions and our time.

Love is the one and single most important thing in life. It is the most beautiful emotion. It is to be given and received and returned with more so that even more comes back to you. So that you may, while you are on this lovely planet, create and share incredible experiences the warmth of which the entire world can feel.

Just love… I promise you, not that difficult…

P.S.: if you think I’m wrong, go soak your head… ;) kidding...
If you think I’m lecturing, I hope you learn something from it…
If you think I’m being repetitive, continue the trend… read this 10 times a day, you’ll believe it.
If you hear any honesty in it, just smile and allow it to sink in.


P.P.S: I love you.

The day I cheated on you...


I knew I was hurting you. I knew I was putting you through something I would regret later. I knew it was wrong and I knew you’d never forgive me. I was giving you a gift you did not need and taking from you what was truly your right.


The right to be happy, the right to be loved, to be respected, to grow, to be free…


I cheated on you because I thought I’d be happy if you weren’t. I wanted to see you rise so that I could see you fall. I wished you’d trust me so that I could take you over the cliff and leave you there for the world to push you down.


I kept telling you that you that you weren’t good enough when you were better than most. I kept telling you, you were right when you needed to be shaken. I promised you the sunshine when I knew I couldn’t get it for you and I took away from you your radiance and tried putting you in my shadow.


When I told you that you weren’t good enough, I wanted to spare you the pain of someone else telling you that – what I did not know was that the world thought you were pretty good too, just like I did.


When I said you were right instead of shaking your core, I wanted to stop you from crying – what I didn’t realize was that those tears were your way of healing, recovering, learning and growing into a stronger and better person.


And yes! when I promised you the sunshine and instead took your brilliance away and put you in my shadow, I wanted you to sit back and take life easy; let the world have no expectations from you so that you could e saved from any unrealized dreams and have no finger pointed at you. – what I did not see again, was that I was taking away from you your reason to live, your will to fight and your instinct to survive.


When I lied my intention was to please you. When I cheated on you I thought I was being your loyal friend.


I thought I was protecting you. I thought I was keeping you safe. When infact I was hurting you.. I was putting you through something I would regret later.


I know I was wrong, I hope you’ll find it in you to forgive me. I hope I can give you the gift of truth and return to you your free spirit.


Give you back, you.

Losers keepers, finders weepers!


My entire life I’ve been looking for something. Something I haven’t found, or if I have then it’s not what I’ve been looking for.


Life has introduced me to a party of situations which I haven’t understood but am still glad I am a guest there. Why? Because that is the only place I can expect to make new friends. By friends I mean problems, experiences that follow, solutions and satisfaction of having lived life. Or atleast giving it a fair shot.


However, when does one find and get to keep experiences? Only when one has lost and wept and yes, moved on too!


When I find something, there’s happiness; a sense of achievement. Then why is it that losing is considered more profound? If you’ve found something along the way of life, why does it pass on … and why does losing something or someone stay with us… forever?


With everything you lose, you find something. Something you’ll keep forever. It never leaves you. You keep it. Or it keeps you.


We’ve heard of many a saying like “when the going gets tough, the tough get going”, “keep your face towards the sun and the shadows will fall behind”, “one bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”, and so on.


Why didn’t anyone tell me that when you’ll look up to face the sun, the light will bloody hurt your eyes, that the one bird in your hand will fly off in one second of negligence and that sometimes when the going gets tough, even the tough have a tough time getting up.


However, if there wasn’t any silver lining on any cloud, then hopes would never rise and then ofcourse no one would ever care about them being crushed. That would be a sad sad world. Wouldn’t it?


Rejection is good. It keeps me humble.
Betrayal is essential. It keeps me alert.
Death is inevitable. It keeps me prepared.


Hopes are like waves. They’re meant to rise and fall.
Love is like a feather. Its soft touch comforts you.
Life is like the planets’ revolution. It comes full circle.

When you lose something, you become the keeper of many good things. And when find something, you know you might have come too far in it’s search… maybe lost something on the way…?

Losing is good. I feel richer at the end of the day.